Tackling my issues head-on.

This few days, i've discovered a lot of qualities about myself.

Understand my strengths and weaknesses and learning how to make the best out of myself.

Well, i came to terms that no one is perfect and can never be,

and am consoled at the fact that we are made special and unique.

Each and everyone of us are made to go through various kind of obstacles in life,

be it in the area of friendships, relationships, family issues, personal problems, etc.

We are thrown out there in this dog eat dog society to fend for ourselves, to be resilient, to survive.

Afterall, what does not kill, does makes one stronger.

Problems that i've kept long in the closet are resurfacing, and issues that i thought i solved are actually not. As i'm sorting out the mess and reorganizing my life, along the way, i found fond memories of people and moments forgotten. I stood still for a moment of reminisce and felt time travelled back to when i was a kid. My childhood. The playgrounds. The laughter. The smell of fresh grass. The smell of innocence and bliss. That i once had. Did not follow me to my adulthood.

When i snapped back, i understood how all this had inspire me and build me up to be strong to continue to search, to fight and find back that joy, that youthful energy, gleeful self and enthusiasm. In my dreams, i am inspired. In my art, i create. In my heart, i believe. In life, i am happy.

What is your goal in life? I just want to be, happy. :)

I'm happy.

Today a butterfly landed on me, i admire it's beauty, silently.

And i realized, how looking at beautiful things can take away the pain on the inside, even if it's just for a while.

Goodbye, my fashion hero.

When i put my lips like this, i want you to kiss me.

I really don't know what to say. I keep typing out and deleting my words and thoughts. I'm going mad i think. It's like i'm on this emotional swing, swinging high and low. It's like i've just stepped out side when everything was going fine. It's like living a life that is not mine.

Help me. Help me disappear.

Shock at the news.

People come and go.

We all come to terms with it, eventually.

But when it's too sudden, when you least expected,

especially when a close one leaves,

you're stunned with much disbelief.

Our life is fragile and

they would not listen, they did not know how.

Now i understand what you tried to say to me,

how you suffered for your sanity,

how you tried to set them free.

For they could not love you,

but still your love is true.

And when no hope was left in sight,

you took your life, as lovers often do.

But i could have told you,

this world was never meant for one,

as beautiful as you.

You lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow,

you closed your eyes and sought peace,

you gave your life up and

you've chosen darkness.

They would not listen, they're not listening still.

Perhaps, they never will.

King spool doll.

I found this adorable King spool doll image on the internet.

In future, I want to rule my own kingdom too, not with an iron fist but a heart of gold.

Not sure what life have installed for me but i thank god for every moment.

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by

If you smile through your fears and sorrows

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying?

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile

:)

Why try to change me now?

I'm sentimental

so i walk in the rain

I've got some habits

even i can't explain

I go to the corner

and i end up in spain

Why try to change me now

I sit and daydream

I've got daydreams galore

cigarette ashes

There they go on the floor

I go away weekends

leave my key in the door

Why try to change me now

Why can't i be more conventional

People talk

and they stare

So i try

But they can't be

because i can't see

my strange little world

just go passing me by

So let people wonder

Let 'em laugh

Let 'em frown

you know i'll love you

till the moon's upside down

Don't you remember

i was always your clown

so why try to change me now

So let people wonder

Let 'em laugh

Let 'em frown

you know i'll love you

till the moon's upside down

just you remember

i was always your clown

Such a beautiful song, for a beautiful soul. I just want to be happy and indulge myself in a lifetime filled with joy and excitement. I know i can never be that way always but at the very least, i want to fully savour the good times, the essence of happiness, the occasional grief and melancholy. Like some people, we do think the same and i know i was never alone.

"...as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist."

If you don't know how to die, don't worry; nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you, don't bother your head about it.

"When i was 5 years old, my dad always told me happiness was the key to life.

When i went to school, they asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up.

I wrote down, "happy."

They told me i didnt understand the assignment and i told them they didnt understand life."

I miss you.

"Love and affection,

it seems as though you're my only infection.

You listened and asked no questions.

All you gave was patience."

Sometimes, i love you, this three words are overused and meaningless.

To a point where i feel,

that I miss you, this three words would reach you.

Sometimes i wished that god would grant me power,

to turn back time,

so i could slow down and play to all our favourite parts together

and pause them.

I pray everyday in my sleep that may god grant me wisdom.

To understand the wonders of life.

That my dreams would realize,

a way to reality.

That my love,

would one day return.

Too much angst and sadness, i'm sorry.

I miss you.